My Favorite TV Drunks

There are so many awesome TV drunks  Some are daily drinkers, some are alcohol abusers, and others are full-blown alcoholics.

Drinking like an alcoholic but somehow never drunk

1. Oliva Pope in Scandal. Have you seen her humongous wine glass? Oh my goodness, you can empty an entire bottle of wine, in each of those “single servings.”  Sometimes, she guzzles down the entire glass, faster than a frat boy using a beer bong. In any case, she never seems drunk to me.

women wine
You are what you drink article.

2. Alicia Florrick, in The Good Wife. Here is another lady that is never without a glass of red wine. In a NY Times article they write “the high-powered lawyer at the center of “The Good Wife,” wants nothing more than a giant glass of red wine when she gets home from a day of legal maneuvering. She reminisces about her pre-legal days as a suburban wife and mother, when “drinking a glass of wine at 5” was her ritual.” Alicia drinks heavily almost every episode, however she is successful and manages her life skillfully.

Full Blown Alcoholics

Oh my gosh, this category could be long. There are some many great TV drunks.

1. Tommy Gavin in Rescue Me. Wow, alcoholism is a major focus for this character. Tommy is either binge drinking or trying to get sober. In one episode, he is sober for a year, but decides to start drinking again. In a classic move, he talks the entire AA meeting into giving up their sobriety – they all drink too. Unfortunately, this results in one death (from drunken driving).

2. Don Draper in Mad Men. I was in denial about his drinking problem for a long time. He was so high-functioning. But like so many of us, his drinking caught up with him. He turned into a pathetic shell of a man who shows up late, passes out at meetings, sleeps with anyone and makes some stupid decisions. He drinks marathon style – from the time he wakes up right up until he jumps into bed.

3. Frank Gallagher in Shameless. He is a boozed up father with a messed up family. By far the worst drunk ever. At one point his liver fails and he can’t keep liquor down. So, he has his young son funnel alcohol into his anus. It’s hard to believe, but that is not even the worst example of his drinking problems. Most of the people around him are glaringly flawed and developmentally challenged. Everyone’s behavior catches up to them, except for Frank. He seems to get away with everything.

4. Frank Moody in Californication. This guy is a drunk loser, yet he still manages to make “using” look fun and cool. He sleeps with every hot women in town, even though he wants to get back together with his ex. He does every drug, you have done, plus ones you have never heard of.  And, he ends up at every cool party, you wished you were invited to. He is lovable, funny and pathetic.

5.The cast in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. This is an under appreciated little gem of a show. The characters are always drinking and coming up with the stupidest drunk ideas you can imagine. “The Gang” has no sense of shame when attempting to get what they want. They often engages in activities which others would find humiliating, disgusting, or even preposterous, such as smoking crack cocaine in order to qualify for welfare, seducing a priest, or hiding naked inside a leather couch in order to spy on someone. In one of my favorite episodes, they find a baby left in a basket. They decide they will try to make money by auditioning the child for baby commercials. The producer says they are looking for Hispanic babies, so they go to a tanning salon and try to talk the owner into letting the baby tan there. Sick, yet still funny.

6. Calamity Jane in Deadwood. This show was great. In was in an era when everyone drank and lawlessness was a way of life. Calamity Jane had a “wooden leg”. She could drink the men under the table.  What is interesting is that Calamity Jane is based on real-life. In the end, it was alcohol that basically killed her.

Some honorable mentions for Cartoon Alcoholics

Homer, from the Simpsons, Peter Griffin from Family Guy and Futurama’s Bender. The guys are fun drunks. The drinking is more a part of their personality, not a part of the show’s humor. They are shown having fun in a very unglamorous, middle-class way. They Drink with their work pals and getting into little trouble.

Who am I missing here? Well, I know I skipped over many of the classics. Who can forget the show Cheers? For many of us ex-drunks, a Recovery Center is the only place where “everyone knows our name”.

p.s. I thought I was finished with my blog post and I remembered an absolute favorite episode of Law and Order SVU. Detective Rollins is a recovering gambling addict. She goes to 12 step meetings where she meets her sponsor Nate. Nate is a recovering alcoholic who also is a serial philanderer?? She has him move in with her. He uses every canned recovery slogan ever invented. It is so funny.  The only half-way good slogan seems to be  “detach with love the one who drags you down.”  She finally gets rid of him.
Our 800RecoveryHub site offers free and confidential help

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